Posted by Andy Black on 2015/04/15 under Uncategorized So. Today I skipped school. I told my parents I was sick, witch I was not. I just really didn’t wanna go to school. I`m not one of those bullied kids or something. I`m just f***ing angry. Angry at everyone and everything. Absolutely everything in life annoys me. Or at least thats what it started with. Slowly.. or not even slow. It all took like 1 month or something. well in that one month my anger turned into sadness. And now I have finally come to the conclusion that I`m depressed. I have started self-harming and purging. And now I can`t stop. I am really scared, cause lately I have been having a lot of thoughts about suicide. “What kills you”, “Easiest way to do it”, “When to do it”, and so on. This is not something I am proud of. I just can`t get it out of my head. It`s just that 8 months ago I started what we call here “Teenager school” which is what you are stuck in from 8.-10. grade. (12/13-15/16 years old.) And I was thinking `great!´New school. new people, new me. But it was all just the opposite of what I thought. It was just horrible. And because of that I completely changed me. In these past 8 months I have gone from this happy, positive, pink, girly, “popular” girl to this sad, angry, dark, black, punk rock, grunge, “not giving any f*** in life” girl. It`s true what they say. Pain does something to people, it changes them. But because I am lucky I got my favorite person in the world. My best friend. I know it should be my parents, but they care so much about me they have annoyed me to hate them. Idk. I guess I don`t know what to do. Everyone (not my BFF. or I don`t know even she does as well. hope not) hates me. But well done. Cause now I hate me to. Trust me no one hates me more then I already do. And i don`t know why. everything just seems hopeless. I am tired all the day and have lost interests in everything I used to like, like reading, running, being social, laughing. Now all I wanna do is lock my self up in my dark room, listen to music and watch movies. I am just afraid I`m gonna end it all soon.
2 thoughts on “Just another depressed teenager..”
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Quit being selfish. All your parents want is for your best, and I know you’re probably tired of hearing it, but it’s the truth dude. Someday you will get over this phase (trust me I went through it too, but sadly no one was there to tell me how selfish I was being, so here I am now. telling you) and you will look back and wonder WTF you were thinking. If you decide to take your life just know you are not only taking your life, but also your parents joy, and that of everyone who loves you. They will be miserable because they lost you and will carry a sadness more grandiose than anything you are feeling right now. What will be going through your loved ones’ minds? “If only I could have helped? Why didn’t they talk to me about it? Maybe I wasn’t there for them, it’s my fault.” So please, rethink your situation and realize suicide is not your answer. All you would be giving to them with your death will be a burden. There are other ways, I am not trying to be mean I am just trying to help you. God be with you.
WHOisbanksxo, I disagree. Depression is not just a phase, sure lots of teenagers go through it but that doesn’t mean that it will go away by itself so therefore it’s not a phase. They can’t help that they’re depressed and it’s not selfish to say how you feel because the only other option is to keep quiet and bottle up your emotions. Just because you don’t say it doesn’t mean you aren’t still feeling it.
Andy Black, try and focus on something that makes you want to keep going. Don’t you have any dreams? If not then find something you’re passionate about and dedicate your life to it. Even if it seems impossible just work at it and put all your energy into it because it gives you something to live for. It helped me and I hope it helps you too.